So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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