Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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