I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
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I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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