I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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