You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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