you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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