Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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