Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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