cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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