why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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