cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize