between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
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"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
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I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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