just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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