I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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