Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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