I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize