The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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