In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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