omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize