He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
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I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
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He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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