she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize