words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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