Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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