Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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