Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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