I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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