I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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