i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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