it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
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I slept with him to see his dog one last time
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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