the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
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It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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