he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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