Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
All the doctor said was why
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize