If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
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No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
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If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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