walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
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Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
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also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize