Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I don't think brook has ever known best
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize