I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize