my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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