Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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