Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
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so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
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I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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