Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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