Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize