I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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