Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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