I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize