i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
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2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
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I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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