She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize