Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And then my night got REAL pukey
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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