I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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