My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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