Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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